1st Poem-
When I am one-and-twenty
I am indeed old enough
To head to the bars, a plenty
And no need to be handcuffed
When I am one-and-twenty
I of course will have a pitcher
Until it’s done and empty
Then I’ll be a hitcher
2nd Poem-
When I am one-and-twenty
My parents will no longer be
The ones who truly loved each other
They now will only love me
When I am one-and-twenty
I will already be on my own
Since they now live separately
There will be no place called home
3rd Poem-
When I am one-and-twenty
I will drink my sorrows away
In the bars on court street
A place where I want to play
When I am one-and-twenty
The nights all seem the same
Tonight isn’t any different
It is just another game
Original:
1st Poem-
When I am one-and-twenty
I am indeed old enough
To head to the bars, a plenty
And no need to be handcuffed
When I am one-and twenty
I of course will have a pitcher
Until it's done and empty
Then I'll be a hitcher
2nd Poem-
When I am one-and-twenty
My parents will no longer be
The ones who truly loved each other
They now will only love me
When I am one-and-twenty
I will officially be on my own
Since I do not want to call
two separate houses my home
3rd Poem-
When I am one-and- twenty
I will drink my sorrows away
In the bars on court street
A place where I want to play
When I am one-and- twenty
The nights all seem the same
Tonight isn't any different
It is just another game
This turns out to have been a good assignment for you, Megan. All of these have a lot of potential, I think.
ReplyDeleteThe first has some clever rhymes, but I think if you read it outloud, you'd want to figure out a different rhythm.
The second is really poignant, and I think it might be a topic you could use for a longer poem.
The third is a nice, if plainly-written, evocation of something a bunch of Athenians probably feel.
Good.
I found the stanza, "When I am one-and twenty I of course will have a pitcher Until it's done and empty Then I'll be a hitcher" silly. I agree that when I turn 21, the bars on Court Street will be somewhere I want to play!
ReplyDeleteI really liked these poems. The part about going to the bars and not getting handcuffed made me laugh.
ReplyDeleteI liked the third poem especially, it seemed well thought through. However, I feel that there is some conflict between "drinking your sorrows away" and "a place where I want to play". I also feel like the rhyme scheme worked best in this poem. Good Job!
ReplyDelete